But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
