He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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