mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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