Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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