I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize