the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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