Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
