I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
