she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
