and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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