Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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