my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
