Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize