Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize