this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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