ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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