Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
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Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.