Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My liver just broke up with me...

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  (303): My liver just broke up with me... http://tfl.nu/2vsq
  Replies (2) Good night (1106) Bad night (877)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  ...well that sucks.

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  (312): Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck. (773): ...well that sucks. http://tfl.nu/p9wr
  Replies (37) Good night (740) Bad night (4176)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined

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  (757): now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined http://tfl.nu/1l3f
  Replies (12) Good night (4101) Bad night (1888)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  two words: eviction party

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  (503): two words: eviction party http://tfl.nu/l75h
  Replies (28) Good night (6274) Bad night (1090)
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  (650): View more from California

  Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th

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  (650): Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th http://tfl.nu/8el9
  Replies (16) Good night (2174) Bad night (4512)
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  (315): View more from New York

  at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache

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  (315): at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache http://tfl.nu/jjc2
  Replies (14) Good night (1238) Bad night (4121)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...

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  (317): she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart... http://tfl.nu/ywxy
  Replies (8) Good night (2828) Bad night (864)
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  (518): View more from New York

  You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them

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  (518): You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them http://tfl.nu/vo2h
  Replies (13) Good night (2615) Bad night (701)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.

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  (847): Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat. http://tfl.nu/qyw3
  Replies (8) Good night (2253) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think

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  (570): Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think http://tfl.nu/mpe0
  Replies (7) Good night (503) Bad night (1568)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is

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  (305): Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/r7rb
  Replies (5) Good night (1339) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close

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  (618): I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close http://tfl.nu/i5mu
  Replies (3) Good night (1316) Bad night (521)
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  (951): View more from California

  Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.

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  (951): Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day. http://tfl.nu/6blw
  Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.

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  (815): After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin. http://tfl.nu/me1g
  Replies (3) Good night (1032) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...

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  (317): I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras... http://tfl.nu/ubf3
  Replies (5) Good night (810) Bad night (347)

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