He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
