Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.

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(516): View more from New York

she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?

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(509): View more from Washington

Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life

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(512): View more from Texas

He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.

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(541): View more from Oregon

When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.

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