Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.

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(617): You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable. http://tfl.nu/i02t

Replies (3) Good night (3048) Bad night (716)
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(707): View more from California

I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.

(951): View more from California

That's the thing about women.

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(707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff. (951): That's the thing about women. http://tfl.nu/3r0z

Replies (6) Good night (887) Bad night (2551)
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(876): View more from Jamaica

you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom

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(876): you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom http://tfl.nu/vb0z

Replies (8) Good night (1516) Bad night (5288)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

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(864): So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life" http://tfl.nu/u5wp

Replies (175) Good night (53069) Bad night (6364)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.

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(864): We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian. http://tfl.nu/x5ta

Replies (18) Good night (7280) Bad night (2325)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.

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(541): I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums. http://tfl.nu/gqon

Replies (6) Good night (3206) Bad night (986)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.

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(423): We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands. http://tfl.nu/9yq1

Replies (7) Good night (3369) Bad night (962)
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(510): View more from California

In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...

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(510): In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going... http://tfl.nu/8b0c

Replies (9) Good night (5276) Bad night (986)
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(406): View more from Montana

I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.

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(406): I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes. http://tfl.nu/2xtl

Replies (6) Good night (3032) Bad night (771)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I just commented on the education level of his penis.

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(734): I just commented on the education level of his penis. http://tfl.nu/tupj

Replies (2) Good night (873) Bad night (760)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.

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(601): Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator. http://tfl.nu/qsk4

Replies (2) Good night (595) Bad night (1220)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.

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(918): I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand. http://tfl.nu/relm

Replies (6) Good night (1249) Bad night (670)
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(213): View more from California

2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.

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(213): 2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here. http://tfl.nu/53p6

Replies (3) Good night (1075) Bad night (462)
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(432): View more from Texas

They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!

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(432): They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED! http://tfl.nu/73e9

Replies (3) Good night (631) Bad night (392)
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(647): View more from Ontario

right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.

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(647): right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind. http://tfl.nu/6tql

Replies (3) Good night (483) Bad night (337)

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