Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?

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(647): View more from Ontario

Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville

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(716): View more from New York

she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.

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(519): View more from Ontario

he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(613): View more from Ontario

We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.

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(206): View more from Washington

he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents

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(925): View more from California

IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE

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(818): View more from California

I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright

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