Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?

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  (856): My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do? http://tfl.nu/j1dk
  Replies (52) Good night (719) Bad night (2193)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now

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  (917): I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now http://tfl.nu/4qek
  Replies (22) Good night (4366) Bad night (812)
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  (916): View more from California

  If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.

  (916): View more from California

  It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.

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  (916): If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige. (320): Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop. (916): It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area. http://tfl.nu/1pkh
  Replies (28) Good night (1635) Bad night (2382)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling

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  (208): opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling http://tfl.nu/a6db
  Replies (11) Good night (6251) Bad night (659)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix

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  (651): dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw (651): by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix http://tfl.nu/95z8
  Replies (17) Good night (1406) Bad night (4310)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad

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  (214): I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad http://tfl.nu/x185
  Replies (15) Good night (1185) Bad night (4175)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.

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  (720): He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were. http://tfl.nu/8g5z
  Replies (7) Good night (858) Bad night (2429)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?

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  (215): What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many? http://tfl.nu/72mb
  Replies (27) Good night (2747) Bad night (1551)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?

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  (412): judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night? http://tfl.nu/fs5d
  Replies (4) Good night (2143) Bad night (904)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him

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  (308): I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him http://tfl.nu/5d11
  Replies (2) Good night (1343) Bad night (716)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.

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  (615): Please high five our old drug dealer for me please. http://tfl.nu/fpo5
  Replies (2) Good night (1691) Bad night (711)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You're the best wingman ever.

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  (702): We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you. (843): You're the best wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/wgzf
  Replies (13) Good night (2651) Bad night (710)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.

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  (417): Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like. http://tfl.nu/oino
  Replies (1) Good night (1340) Bad night (505)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.

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  (407): I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend. http://tfl.nu/eu14
  Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (267)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do

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  (919): It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do http://tfl.nu/kn63
  Replies (4) Good night (299) Bad night (560)

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