She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
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she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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