So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
