I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
