you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
