If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
