Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
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"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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