He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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