I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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