I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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