If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize