just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
