just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
