i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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