How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I yelled at your uterus for you.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
