I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
