Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
