Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
