where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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