and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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