Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
