Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
