Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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