Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
