do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
