you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
