Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
