Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
