i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
3 2 1 whiskey
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
