I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
As shirtless as possible
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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