i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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