New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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