WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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