Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize