hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
