ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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