I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
