u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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