Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
