They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
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No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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