Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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