just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize