Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
