Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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