how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
