Already got asked if we're dating
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Never underestimate the power of titties
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
