Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
