We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
