I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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