i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he wants to bone in the snuggie
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
